We tell people all the time that we have forgiven them, but the truth is, in most cases, we haven’t really done so. If we say we have forgiven people but we harbor any resentment, bitterness, or anger of how badly they treated us, then we have not really forgiven them. How can we unload ourselves of this burden?
I answer this question in my book, 10 Essentials of Happy, Healthy People: Becoming and staying highly healthy.
You may wonder whether you’ve truly forgive someone or not. This blog, “A test to tell if you’ve really forgiven someone,” may help you answer that question.
For my patients and those I counsel on the skill of forgiveness, I offer the following process—based on the acrostic F-O-R-G-I-V-I-N-G—to help them with the difficult and emotionally painful task of healing from past hurts.
- F = Forgiving Is Highly Healthy
- O = Organize Your Thoughts by Writing
- R = Review Your Experience
- G = Give the Boot to Anger and Regret
- I = Invest in Removing Resentment
- V = Victory Comes in Forgiving Others
- I = Increase Your Gratitude for Past Pain
- N = Navigate to Inner Peace
- G = Give Comfort to Others
Using a process like this is not easy. It takes time and plenty of effort. But, the result can be life saving. So to being the process of forgiving, obtain a copy of my book, 10 Essentials of Happy, Healthy People and learn about, study, and then apply “The Essential of Forgiveness.”