The ABCD’s of Parenting – Part 7

Children's Health, Marriage and Family Health, Parenting
This is the seventh part in a series excerpted from my book God’s Design for the Highly Healthy Teen. DISCIPLINE We now come to the fourth letter—D for “Discipline.” Lifting up our teens with affirmation, blameless love, and connectedness is critical for their health. But like a table, a fourth leg is needed to keep things on an equilibrium—the leg of parental guidance and enforced boundaries. (more…)
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The ABCD’s of Parenting – Part 6

Children's Health, Parenting
This is the sixth part in a series excerpted from my book God’s Design for the Highly Healthy Teen. CONNECTING WITH THE WORKADAY WORLD If your teen is not overscheduled and you feel good about the family connectedness, then part-time work may be another way your teen can develop into a highly healthy adult. After all, he or she does need to learn how to work, and the last I checked, the best way to learn how to work is to work! (more…)
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The ABCD’s of Parenting – Part 5

Children's Health, Parenting
This is the fifth part in a series excerpted from my book God’s Design for the Highly Healthy Teen. CONNECTING WITH FRIENDS ... AND MORE FRIENDS Besides connectedness with parents, highly healthy teens need connectedness with highly healthy friends, activities, and faith communities. As teens gain independence and go out on their own, friendships become more important than ever. (more…)
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The ABCD’s of Parenting – Part 4

Children's Health, Parenting
This is the fourth part in a series excerpted from my book God’s Design for the Highly Healthy Teen. CONNECTEDNESS The “C” of the “ABCD’s” of raising highly healthy children and nurturing highly healthy teens is “Connectedness.” It includes connecting with your kids, connecting your kids with good friends, and connecting your kids with their Creator. (more…)
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The ABCD’s of Parenting – Part 3

Children's Health, Parenting
This is the third part in a series excerpted from my book God’s Design for the Highly Healthy Teen. BLAMELESS LOVE The "B" of the "ABCD’s" of raising highly healthy children and nurturing highly healthy teens is "Blameless” or “Unconditional Love." Do you love your child blamelessly, unconditionally? Or is your love conditional, as in “I love you because of ... ” or “I love you if ... ”? (more…)
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The ABCD’s of Parenting – Part 1

Children's Health, Parenting
In my book, God’s Design for the Highly Healthy Teen, I wrote about the fact that highly healthy teens need four things from their parents to maintain their emotional health during their preteen and adolescent years. I call them the ABCD’s of parenting: A = Affirmation B = Blameless love C = Connectedness D = Discipline (more…)
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How to Create a Spoiled Brat: 9 Parenting No-Nos

Children's Health, Parenting
Kids need to know their parents love them. But some moms and dads think that the way to show love is to accept children's bad behavior. And that can turn even good kids into spoiled brats, says parenting guru Nancy Samalin, New York City-based author of "Loving without Spoiling" and other books on parenting. Here are Nancy's nine parenting no-nos from a report on CBS News: 1) Mistake: Always "Rescuing" Your Child Are you a "helicopter parent," always hovering overhead to make sure your child does things right - and swooping in at the first sign of trouble? Big mistake. Kids need to experience disappointment. They need to know what it's like to struggle with a problem. If it's a matter of protecting your child's safety or health, by all means…
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Spanking your kid could hatch a bully? Don’t bet on it!

Children's Health, Mental Health, Parenting
Well, here we go again. The news media and liberal pundits are lauding a new study that claims "... even minor forms of corporal punishment, such as spanking, increase risk for increased child aggressive behavior." Could this be true? As Time Magazine reports, "Disciplining young children is what parents are supposed to do — most moms and dads have no trouble agreeing with that. But should the punishment include spanking? As many parents can attest, few disciplinary measures stop a child from misbehaving as quickly as a swift smack or two on the bottom." But, most of the news media ran a different direction: Disciplining young children is what parents are supposed to do — most moms and dads have no trouble agreeing with that. But should the punishment include spanking?…
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Dealing With Those All-Too-Public Tantrums

Children's Health, Parenting
Parents often have a hard time figuring out what to do when their children decide to throw tantrums. It doesn't help matters that kids often have their meltdowns in public places -- the supermarket, the mall, the family restaurant. According to a report in HealthDay News, an expert is saying, "Don't let glares, stares tempt you to give into your child's meltdowns." So, just what should you do? Chuck Smith, a Kansas State University child development expert, has compiled tips to help parents deal with out-of-control youngsters. Here's his advice: Set rules and enforce them. "Many parents are concerned with the glare of onlookers, so they'll let their kids get away with things because of the threat," Smith said in a news release. "You can't let a child leverage your…
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Spare the Rod? Is Spanking a Child Harmful or Helpful? – Part 11 – Is spanking ever necessary?

Children's Health, Parenting
Opposition to parents spanking their children has been growing significantly in elite circles over the past few years. And, my blogs on spanking are among the most read of those I publish. Therefore, I’ve decided to, with the help of the research of my friends Den Trumbull, MD, S. DuBose Ravenel, MD, to look a the arguments used against spanking, to see if they hold any water. This is the last of my 12 part series on the topic Argument #11: Spanking is never necessary. Counterpoint: All children need a combination of encouragement and correction as they are disciplined to become socially responsible individuals. In order for correction to deter disobedient behavior, the consequence imposed upon the child must outweigh the pleasure of the disobedient act. For very compliant children,…
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Spare the Rod? Is Spanking a Child Harmful or Helpful? – Part 10 – Does spanking lead a parent to use harmful forms of corporal punishment which lead to physical child abuse?

Children's Health, Parenting
Opposition to parents spanking their children has been growing significantly in elite circles over the past few years. And, my blogs on spanking are among the most read of those I publish. Therefore, I’ve decided to, with the help of the research of my friends Den Trumbull, MD, S. DuBose Ravenel, MD, look a the arguments used against spanking, to see if they hold any water. This is the eleventh of a 12 part series. Argument #10: Spanking leads a parent to use harmful forms of corporal punishment which lead to physical child abuse. Counterpoint: The abuse potential when loving parents use appropriate disciplinary spanking is very low. Since parents have a natural affection for their children, they are more prone to underutilize spanking than to overutilize it. Both empirical data and professional…
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Spare the Rod? Is Spanking a Child Harmful or Helpful? – Part 9 – Is spanking an ineffective solution to misbehavior?

Children's Health, Mental Health, Parenting
Opposition to parents spanking their children has been growing significantly in elite circles over the past few years. And, my blogs on spanking are among the most read of those I publish. Therefore, I’ve decided to, with the help of the research of my friends Den Trumbull, MD, S. DuBose Ravenel, MD, to look a the arguments used against spanking, to see if they hold any water. This is the ninth of a 12 part series. Argument #8: Spanking is an ineffective solution to misbehavior. Counterpoint: Though the specific use of appropriate spanking has rarely been studied, there is evidence of its short-term and long-term effectiveness. When combined with reasoning, the use of negative consequences (including spanking) does effectively decrease the frequency of misbehavior recurrences with preschool children.[9] In clinical field trials…
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Spare the Rod? Is Spanking a Child Harmful or Helpful? – Part 7 – Does spanking teach a child that “might makes right,” that power and strength are most important, and that the biggest can force their will upon the smallest?

Children's Health, Parenting
Opposition to parents spanking their children has been growing significantly in elite circles over the past few years. And, my blogs on spanking are among the most read of those I publish. Therefore, I’ve decided to, with the help of the research of my friends Den Trumbull, MD, S. DuBose Ravenel, MD, to look a the arguments used against spanking, to see if they hold any water. This is the seventh in a 12 part series. OppositionOpposition to parents spanking their children has been growing significantly in elite circles over the past few years. And, my blogs on spanking are among the most read of those I publish. Therefore, I’ve decided to, with the help of the research of my friends Den Trumbull, MD, S. DuBose Ravenel, MD, to look a…
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Spare the Rod? Is Spanking a Child Harmful or Helpful? – Part 6 – Does physical punishment make the child angry at the parent?

Children's Health, Parenting
Opposition to parents spanking their children has been growing significantly in elite circles over the past few years. And, my blogs on spanking are among the most read of those I publish. Therefore, I’ve decided to, with the help of the research of my friends Den Trumbull, MD, S. DuBose Ravenel, MD, to look a the arguments used against spanking, to see if they hold any water. This is the sixth in a 12 part series. Argument #5: Physical punishment makes the child angry at the parent. Counterpoint: All forms of punishment initially elicit a frustrated, angry response from a child. However, progression of this anger is dependent primarily upon the parent's attitude during and after the disciplinary event, and the manner of its application. Any form of punishment administered angrily…
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Spare the Rod? Is Spanking a Child Harmful or Helpful? – Part 5 – Is appropriate spanking harmful to a child?

Children's Health, Parenting
Opposition to parents spanking their children has been growing significantly in elite circles over the past few years. And, my blogs on spanking are among the most read of those I publish. Therefore, I’ve decided to, with the help of the research of my friends Den Trumbull, MD, S. DuBose Ravenel, MD, to look a the arguments used against spanking, to see if they hold any water. This is the fifth of a 12 part series. Argument #4: Physical punishment is harmful to a child. Counterpoint: Any disciplinary measure, whether physical, verbal, or emotional, carried to an extreme can harm a child. Excessive scolding and berating of a child by a parent is emotionally, relationally, and spiritually harmful. If chronic, it can lead to stress that can even be physically harmful.…
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Spare the Rod? Is Spanking a Child Harmful or Helpful? – Part 4 – Does spanking teach a child that anger and frustration justify the use of physical force?

Children's Health, Parenting
Opposition to parents spanking their children has been growing significantly in elite circles over the past few years. And, my blogs on spanking are among the most read of those I publish. Therefore, I’ve decided to, with the help of the research of my friends Den Trumbull, MD, S. DuBose Ravenel, MD, to look a the arguments used against spanking, to see if they hold any water. This is the fourth of a 12 part series. Argument #3: Since parents often refrain from hitting until the anger or frustration reaches a certain point, the child learns that anger and frustration justify the use of physical force. Counterpoint: A study published in Pediatrics indicates that most parents who spank do not spank on impulse, but purposefully spank their children with a belief…
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Spare the Rod? Is Spanking a Child Harmful or Helpful? – Part 3 – Does physical punishment establish the moral righteousness of hitting other persons?

Children's Health, Parenting
Opposition to parents spanking their children has been growing significantly in elite circles over the past few years. And, my blogs on spanking are among the most read of those I publish. Therefore, I’ve decided to, with the help of the research of my friends Den Trumbull, MD, S. DuBose Ravenel, MD, to look a the arguments used against spanking, to see if they hold any water. This is the third of a 12 part series. Argument #2: Physical punishment establishes the moral righteousness of hitting other persons who do something which is regarded as wrong. Counterpoint: According to an investigation by Drs. Trumbull and Ravenel, performed for the Family Research Council, the "spanking teaches hitting" belief has gained in popularity over the past decade, but is not supported by objective…
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Spare the Rod? Is Spanking a Child Harmful or Helpful? – Part 2 – Do studies show that spanking is an improper form of discipline?

Children's Health
Opposition to parents spanking their children has been growing significantly in elite circles over the past few years. And, my blogs on spanking are among the most read of those I publish. Therefore, I’ve decided to, with the help of the research of my friends Den Trumbull, MD, S. DuBose Ravenel, MD, to look a the arguments used against spanking, to see if they hold any water. This is the second of a 12 part series. Today we'll start looking at the arguments used against spanking. Argument #1: Many psychological studies show that spanking is an improper form of discipline. Counterpoint: According to an investigation by Drs. Trumbull and Ravenel, performed for the Family Research Council, researchers John Lyons, Rachel Anderson, and David Larson of the National Institute of Healthcare…
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Spare the Rod? Is Spanking a Child Harmful or Helpful? – Part 1 – Introduction

Bioethics, Children's Health, Mental Health, Parenting
My blogs on spanking are among the most read of those I publish. This may be due to the fact that opposition to parents spanking their children has been growing significantly in elite circles over the past few years. Therefore, I’ve decided to, with the help of the research of my friends Den Trumbull, MD, S. DuBose Ravenel, MD, to look a the arguments used against spanking, to see if they hold any water. First, some introductory comments to begin this 12 part series. Drs. Trumbull and Ravenel write: No doubt much of this opposition springs from a sincere concern for the well-being of children. Child abuse is a reality, and stories of child abuse are horrifying. But while loving and effective discipline is quite definitely not harsh and abusive,…
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